You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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