no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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