This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I had to cum in my sink.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
