Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize