ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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