I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize