I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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