They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize