Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
