Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
