how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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