Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
So here I am, sexting at work.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
