Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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