Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
