Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
