fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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