he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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