i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
