Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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