1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize