I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
