Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
