god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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