i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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