you mean i was at the winter classic?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize