So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
