Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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