Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
