Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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