I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
