i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
