Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's never too late to be topless.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
