doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Your dad touched me again.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
