Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize