He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
