Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
