she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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