I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
