dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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