if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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