They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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