Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
