i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
