Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
