There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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