Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
