Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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