You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just high enough for therapy.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
