so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
