remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
false alarm, still single
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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