Me. At least after what I've been through.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
