the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
