Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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