we have officially lost it.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
