whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
