I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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