I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Randomize
