I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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