I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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