Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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