Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He felt like a one man threesome
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
