I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
