So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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