There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
