its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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