Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
