You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
