You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
