You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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