Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
