just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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