Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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