Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize