I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
