Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
