I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
