would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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